Summer 2010

C.C.'s baptism

Picking limes and lemons with grandpa

My grandpa Knauer

Doing dishes with mamma, sooo helpful!

Miranda in her new glasses, cute girl

Water water water!!!

Our house for the time being

Wrestling with brothers

My personal favorite

Just wish Tob could've been in this picture

Swinging fun

Tony playing some awesome songs for us

My old room

Kitchen and family area

Our home for five long years

So it's been a very busy summer for us!! I'm so glad to finally feel settled and comfortable. Especially now that school is starting tomorrow!

We have been through a lot this last past year or couple years for that matter. Sadly we decided to sale our home because the mortgage was too much for us anymore. And we ended up basically giving it away because we made no money on it! Very hard and pride swallowing for both Tob and I. I know we are not the only ones going through hard times right now. I've watched so many friends and family go through the same thing and in some cases much worse. I have chosen to look at our situation as a starting over process. Yes there have been many negative things happen. Sometimes through our own choices and sometimes not. But all we can do is take one day at time and choose to be positive. It's not easy to think positively all the time and you find yourself in the throws of regret and what if's. They can creep up on you on any given day. In those times I just have to remind myself that we are starting over and slowly but surely we are on our way to a better beginning.

We spent some time in California in March. My grandpa Knauer passed away and it was nice to be around family. Then we went to California again in May. We spent time with mom and were able to see Tony and Aunt Brenda.

In May we also moved to a not so great neighborhood and quickly found out that there was a registered sex offender two doors down. I don't know what his offense was but he was creepy enough for us to make another move. Two moves in a few months has been very tiring and thanks to my mom, who helped during both moves, I don't think we could've done it without her. Like I said before, we are so happy to be settled finally!

And life goes on........

Desperate day ramblings

I'm having a desperate day today. I don't know how better to explain it than to say that I'm completely overwhelmed, depressed, stressed out, and on the brink of tears every five seconds. I don't know why I let my problems consume me. There's not a a lot I can do about them today. But for some reason here I am worrying and worrying. Why can't I just let it go and give it to God, why do I have to go through this stupid day! And why am I letting life get me down so much. Maybe it's the holidays, maybe it's having the kids home from school and dealing with all the fighting and messes. I wish I could snap my fingers and everything would be alright. I would feel happy and calm.

I need to get a job, not easy to do in this town and not easy to do with a baby who cry's hysterically every time I leave him with Toby. He's a stinker and Toby doesn't want me to get a job because then he'll be left with 3 stinkers and a hysterical baby. But it might just have to happen and he might just have to deal with it.

Okay, I know I sound like the baby now sitting on a pity pot but I think just getting it out of my mind and in writing will help. I'm grateful for what I have, I am, but then life just gets in the way and feelings overwhelm me. Please Heavenly Father take it from me and let me have peace today so I can be a good mother and wife, let me get through this day with a smile on my face. This is my prayer, my desperate day ramblings prayer. Amen!

Christmas 2009

Just thought I'd post these cute pictures. I've got lots to say but that will be a different post. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Bikes, dogs, and babies!

Uncle Aaron owns one of Kaya and Titan's puppies.

He is really adorable.  We love his markings.

Titan and Paps or father and son!!

All ready to go mom!

Leland is in love with his bike.  We took him to the 

skate park a while ago and now it's all he wants to

do.  We have to drag him away kicking and screaming.

Owen has fun too.  He's a little timid but with time

He'll be catching some air!

What can I say about Miranda, she's just one of the 

boys.  She has just as much fun but gets cold way 

too fast because, let's face it, she really is a girl!

We were actually really shocked at how well Leland

does on the ramps.  He's such a brick but when he's 

on his bike he seems so light and agile.  It's great!

Luckily we got out early enough today before it 

started snowing.  I'm hating the changing seasons 

this year and just really want to be back in California.

I'm finding the more I'm outside in the sun, the better

I feel and that goes for the kiddos too.  Oh well, goodbye 

sun hello snow and grey clouds.  I'm just glad my brother-

in- law works up at Brian Head.  Free tubing.  Maybe I'll 

actually snowboard this year.  (ya right!!)

Owen's happy 5!!!

Happy Birthday Owie!!

This is the typical Owen, always goofing off.

That would be a penny lodged in his two year old throat!!

He used to have cute teeth before bottle rot!

6 weeks old in the hospital with a fever and still smiling!!

First smile was when he was one day old!

My sweet little Owen turned five yesterday.  I am truly grateful for a child like him.  He has so much passion for life.  It's all about fun for this kid.  From the time he was born, he has always been happy and smiley and always goofy.  It's hard to find a normal picture of Owen, usually he's doing some crazy face or position with his skinny little body.  He's been put to sleep and stuck with needles more than anyone in this house and yet he has remained my most content child.  I wish every baby could be like him.  He would go to anyone at any time and was happy just to sit in his bouncer or car seat.  He used to shower me with kisses when he got sleepy and would be half asleep still giving me kisses.   Happy five Owie!  We love you.

Sweet Smiles

It seemed to take a little while to get this kid to smile, but now he gives 'em out all the time.  His favorite thing to smile at of course are the ceiling fans.  Mama comes in second!

He is gaining weight pretty good now that I'm doing formula along with nursing but sometimes he does not have the patience to nurse and we have to go right to the bottle.  I hope he can hold out at least for 2 more months, I know those antibodies from breastmilk will help him through this flu season.  We'll see, all I can say is that I did my best!

Leland's Happy 7!!!

Leland turned 7 yesterday, again this growing up thing is just happening way too fast for me.  

Leland, you are such a sweetie poo!  You have never been jealous of your two younger brothers and have loved them so adoringly since they were born.  Although you are extremely shy and quiet, you are very smart!!  No one would guess how well you do in school because you're so quiet about it.  Your dad and I are very proud of you and love you so much. Happy Happy 7!!!