I'm having a desperate day today. I don't know how better to explain it than to say that I'm completely overwhelmed, depressed, stressed out, and on the brink of tears every five seconds. I don't know why I let my problems consume me. There's not a a lot I can do about them today. But for some reason here I am worrying and worrying. Why can't I just let it go and give it to God, why do I have to go through this stupid day! And why am I letting life get me down so much. Maybe it's the holidays, maybe it's having the kids home from school and dealing with all the fighting and messes. I wish I could snap my fingers and everything would be alright. I would feel happy and calm.
I need to get a job, not easy to do in this town and not easy to do with a baby who cry's hysterically every time I leave him with Toby. He's a stinker and Toby doesn't want me to get a job because then he'll be left with 3 stinkers and a hysterical baby. But it might just have to happen and he might just have to deal with it.
Okay, I know I sound like the baby now sitting on a pity pot but I think just getting it out of my mind and in writing will help. I'm grateful for what I have, I am, but then life just gets in the way and feelings overwhelm me. Please Heavenly Father take it from me and let me have peace today so I can be a good mother and wife, let me get through this day with a smile on my face. This is my prayer, my desperate day ramblings prayer. Amen!
