I'm having a desperate day today. I don't know how better to explain it than to say that I'm completely overwhelmed, depressed, stressed out, and on the brink of tears every five seconds. I don't know why I let my problems consume me. There's not a a lot I can do about them today. But for some reason here I am worrying and worrying. Why can't I just let it go and give it to God, why do I have to go through this stupid day! And why am I letting life get me down so much. Maybe it's the holidays, maybe it's having the kids home from school and dealing with all the fighting and messes. I wish I could snap my fingers and everything would be alright. I would feel happy and calm.
I need to get a job, not easy to do in this town and not easy to do with a baby who cry's hysterically every time I leave him with Toby. He's a stinker and Toby doesn't want me to get a job because then he'll be left with 3 stinkers and a hysterical baby. But it might just have to happen and he might just have to deal with it.
Okay, I know I sound like the baby now sitting on a pity pot but I think just getting it out of my mind and in writing will help. I'm grateful for what I have, I am, but then life just gets in the way and feelings overwhelm me. Please Heavenly Father take it from me and let me have peace today so I can be a good mother and wife, let me get through this day with a smile on my face. This is my prayer, my desperate day ramblings prayer. Amen!
3 comments:
I am right there with you Holly! The only thing helping me today has been reaching out to friends. I can't wait for this year to be over!
I'm so sorry Holly, I have days like that too. I wish we lived closer so I could be there for you :(
I can't believe I just read this. I'm so sorry I hadn't read it earlier. I hope your feeling better now. It's so true life does seem to get in the way of our happiness sometimes. What gets me through is knowing how much worse we really could have it. Your always better off than somebody.(actually most people if you think about it) If you think others don't have those problems just know that most are dealing silently with so much pain and sorrow. I'm glad you let it out. You can bring your stinkers over anytime. Drop them off and go get a massage or just a big scoop of icecream.
I think your beautiful and awesome to share what you do.
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